Why are there so many ugly people in porn? I'm not talking like average looking, I'm talking yikes!-looking. Beer belly, coke bottle glasses, quasi-mullets, snaggle teeth, unibrows, etc... Everyone is a sexual creature and has the right to make videos, have fun, and blah blah blah. But really! Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
I was actually mad at myself for orgasming to a video with not 1 but 3 unappealing men. I still don't understand how I managed. The girl was okay-looking and they cut most of the men's faces out... but the lingering bulky stomach overhang covered in grey hair, bouncing in and out of the shot. Ew! It was a miracle I came and thankfully it meant I could turn it off. And by turn it off, I mean find another delight to watch. I suppose the vid still did its job regardless of having attractive participants so I shouldn't complain. It'd just be nice if everyone was pretty or looked in the mirror from time to time.
I'm binge porning and it's getting out of hand. I'm pretty sure it's a sign you've seen too much when you start to recognize the same dilapidated couches and fake plants. It's perfect timing then that I'll be out in the wilderness and free from the internet for a few days. Just being one with nature, working on my tan and not thinking about men....
Friday, July 3
Thursday, July 2
"What Are You Thinking About?"
On this night in question I knew disastrous things resulting from alcohol were going to take place. It was a virgin friend's birthday so things were guaranteed to get sloppy. I did not think it would involve the male species though. I was so certain that the closest I was going to get to a man was just some dirty dancing (okay, I admit, that's pretty close) so my lady bits were unkempt. To top it off, my impending period meant a pantyliner was necessary under my crisp white shorts. I like to live life on the edge, just not the edge of embarrassing stains. Okay, now that the details are out of the way, on with the fun.
I was on the club's dance floor the entire night. A girlfriend caught me dancing with someone not quite suitable and gave me the signal. All women have them and I'm sure men do too. The quick-get-away-now-he-is-not-as-attractive-as-you-thought signal. At the beginning of the night the signal might be an ear tug but when things get messy it turns to an obvious bug-eyed head shake or the hand-to-throat slice. This was the latter. I politely disengaged and swept myself away.
Later on in the night I saw the same guy eyeballing me. I was ready to avoid him but I noticed he was pointing me out to a friend of his. He was actually pointing with his entire arm dramatically right at me. Way to be subtle, Sparky. Lucky for me his friend was a looker... tall and sexy. Mmm... yes please. Other than his shirt being a little too far unbuttoned for my taste he was well dressed.
He approached, we danced, danced and danced. When I say danced we all know I mean I suggestively grinded against him rhythmically to a beat, right? Touching escalated along with his hard on. As if he couldn't tell, DancePartner asked me what I was thinking about. I grabbed a handful of his junk and whispered "this" in his ear, followed by a bite because I'm coy and sexy like that when drinking. He wanted to know what else I was thinking about. Sigh. He's one of those guys. That needs constant description and dialogue. "I'm thinking about fucking you until it hurts. Why? What are you thinking about?" He ignored the question and tried to change venues but there was some drama/blood going on with the rest of my party so I was pulled away.
It was getting pretty late by the time we re-grouped. Friends were leaving so I had to make the decision to stay or go. I was indifferent but it turned out the BirthdayGirl had a thing for DancePartner's friend, DPF, so I left it up to her. I knew I could entertain his friend while she got frisky if she wanted. I thought of it like a birthday present. Aren't I nice? :D So we stayed.
Once the bar kicked us all out we wandered around downtown "looking for food" until someone made a move. The guys had their huddle and decided who's place we were going to while BirthdayGirl and I had our huddle about whether we should go or not. It was totally up to her. If she wanted to get devirginized by a random on her birthday, that's all her. We set out on a "5 minute walk" to DPF's apartment. It took quite a bit longer not only because of the gross underestimation by DPF but the frequent stops.
This is one of the reasons I like the occasional bar hookup. I like it for the flirty touching in the street which leads to making out against store front windows which escalates to heavy groping and sometimes indecent exposure. Up against the glass of a bakery I was sucking on his fingers with a hand down his pants while he moaned and kissed my neck. "What are you thinking about?" "What are you thinking about?" He didn't answer so I stopped and we walked some more. He pulled me in to an alley and pressed me up against the wall and started to work his hands in to my shorts. Shit, I am not prepared for this. Abort! Abort! I told him it was a bad time of the month so he'd keep his fingers away and not feel the liner I was sporting. 'A' for effort, DancePartner. We walked some more. Next thing I know we're laughing behind a bush and his pants are coming off. "What are you thinking about?" "What are you thinking about?" He didn't answer again so I left and caught up with the others while he struggled to get his pants up and belted before the oncoming pedestrians saw him. They assumed he was taking a leak and heckled him for it.
We finally made it to the apartment and everyone settled down in the same bed to watch a movie. A movie? Yeaaah, that's why I came back here. DancePartner and I were fooling around under our blanket as I assume BirthdayGirl and DPF were. It would have been awkward if it wasn't for the alcohol, especially when DancePartner undid his obnoxiously jangly belt buckle. I also may have been the only one multitasking and still watching the movie because I laughed a couple times by myself... or maybe the movie just wasn't that funny.
BirthdayGirl eventually got up to hit the washroom and DPF split once we gave him the look. I finally got my chance and lifted up the blanket to look at the the cock I had been dying to get my mouth on all night. I told him that this was what I had been thinking about and dove in. I love hearing the first tongue to cock oooh. It's different from all the other sounds a man may make. I don't think it took that long for him to blow but it was delicious. The perfect sweetness and texture. Afterwards he pulled me up and in to a hug so tight that I momentarily questioned his sanity.
We got up to get another drink and the bedroom was stolen from us by BirthdayGirl and DPF so we settled in the living room. Lo and behold I was on my knees with his dick in my mouth again. Seriously, can I ever get enough? And fuck! Why did I not shave before I left the house. I wouldn't mind taking this cock for a ride. If only I didn't lie about being on my rag I could suck up my pride and prickly-fuck him anyway. It's not like there is going to be a repeat, this is a one night only show. Shit! While my inner dialogue was running I found a new spot to lick that drove him wild so it wasn't long before I got another mouthful that tired him out for good.
We left shortly after that and I discovered BirthdayGirl really did lose her V-card to DPF, the random man from the bar. That's not how I'd go about it but to each their own. No contact information was exchanged by any of us so that is the last you'll hear of them... unless someone gets their facebook-stalking-hat on.
I was on the club's dance floor the entire night. A girlfriend caught me dancing with someone not quite suitable and gave me the signal. All women have them and I'm sure men do too. The quick-get-away-now-he-is-not-as-attractive-as-you-thought signal. At the beginning of the night the signal might be an ear tug but when things get messy it turns to an obvious bug-eyed head shake or the hand-to-throat slice. This was the latter. I politely disengaged and swept myself away.
Later on in the night I saw the same guy eyeballing me. I was ready to avoid him but I noticed he was pointing me out to a friend of his. He was actually pointing with his entire arm dramatically right at me. Way to be subtle, Sparky. Lucky for me his friend was a looker... tall and sexy. Mmm... yes please. Other than his shirt being a little too far unbuttoned for my taste he was well dressed.
He approached, we danced, danced and danced. When I say danced we all know I mean I suggestively grinded against him rhythmically to a beat, right? Touching escalated along with his hard on. As if he couldn't tell, DancePartner asked me what I was thinking about. I grabbed a handful of his junk and whispered "this" in his ear, followed by a bite because I'm coy and sexy like that when drinking. He wanted to know what else I was thinking about. Sigh. He's one of those guys. That needs constant description and dialogue. "I'm thinking about fucking you until it hurts. Why? What are you thinking about?" He ignored the question and tried to change venues but there was some drama/blood going on with the rest of my party so I was pulled away.
It was getting pretty late by the time we re-grouped. Friends were leaving so I had to make the decision to stay or go. I was indifferent but it turned out the BirthdayGirl had a thing for DancePartner's friend, DPF, so I left it up to her. I knew I could entertain his friend while she got frisky if she wanted. I thought of it like a birthday present. Aren't I nice? :D So we stayed.
Once the bar kicked us all out we wandered around downtown "looking for food" until someone made a move. The guys had their huddle and decided who's place we were going to while BirthdayGirl and I had our huddle about whether we should go or not. It was totally up to her. If she wanted to get devirginized by a random on her birthday, that's all her. We set out on a "5 minute walk" to DPF's apartment. It took quite a bit longer not only because of the gross underestimation by DPF but the frequent stops.
This is one of the reasons I like the occasional bar hookup. I like it for the flirty touching in the street which leads to making out against store front windows which escalates to heavy groping and sometimes indecent exposure. Up against the glass of a bakery I was sucking on his fingers with a hand down his pants while he moaned and kissed my neck. "What are you thinking about?" "What are you thinking about?" He didn't answer so I stopped and we walked some more. He pulled me in to an alley and pressed me up against the wall and started to work his hands in to my shorts. Shit, I am not prepared for this. Abort! Abort! I told him it was a bad time of the month so he'd keep his fingers away and not feel the liner I was sporting. 'A' for effort, DancePartner. We walked some more. Next thing I know we're laughing behind a bush and his pants are coming off. "What are you thinking about?" "What are you thinking about?" He didn't answer again so I left and caught up with the others while he struggled to get his pants up and belted before the oncoming pedestrians saw him. They assumed he was taking a leak and heckled him for it.
We finally made it to the apartment and everyone settled down in the same bed to watch a movie. A movie? Yeaaah, that's why I came back here. DancePartner and I were fooling around under our blanket as I assume BirthdayGirl and DPF were. It would have been awkward if it wasn't for the alcohol, especially when DancePartner undid his obnoxiously jangly belt buckle. I also may have been the only one multitasking and still watching the movie because I laughed a couple times by myself... or maybe the movie just wasn't that funny.
BirthdayGirl eventually got up to hit the washroom and DPF split once we gave him the look. I finally got my chance and lifted up the blanket to look at the the cock I had been dying to get my mouth on all night. I told him that this was what I had been thinking about and dove in. I love hearing the first tongue to cock oooh. It's different from all the other sounds a man may make. I don't think it took that long for him to blow but it was delicious. The perfect sweetness and texture. Afterwards he pulled me up and in to a hug so tight that I momentarily questioned his sanity.
We got up to get another drink and the bedroom was stolen from us by BirthdayGirl and DPF so we settled in the living room. Lo and behold I was on my knees with his dick in my mouth again. Seriously, can I ever get enough? And fuck! Why did I not shave before I left the house. I wouldn't mind taking this cock for a ride. If only I didn't lie about being on my rag I could suck up my pride and prickly-fuck him anyway. It's not like there is going to be a repeat, this is a one night only show. Shit! While my inner dialogue was running I found a new spot to lick that drove him wild so it wasn't long before I got another mouthful that tired him out for good.
We left shortly after that and I discovered BirthdayGirl really did lose her V-card to DPF, the random man from the bar. That's not how I'd go about it but to each their own. No contact information was exchanged by any of us so that is the last you'll hear of them... unless someone gets their facebook-stalking-hat on.
Monday, June 29
Quickie
I know I've been neglecting you but there will be a length post or two coming up. I had some interesting fun last weekend that is dying to be shared. There was new cock! Mmm! And old cock! And public indecency!? :O
Until then I'll leave you with this email that I received from a man that I corresponded with on AM. Keep in mind we haven't exchanged messages in probably over 6 months. It's a tad creepy and undeniably hilarious.
From: ManThatWantsToBeASugarDaddy
Subject: Hey.......
Body: I am still looking to own you.....
Until then I'll leave you with this email that I received from a man that I corresponded with on AM. Keep in mind we haven't exchanged messages in probably over 6 months. It's a tad creepy and undeniably hilarious.
From: ManThatWantsToBeASugarDaddy
Subject: Hey.......
Body: I am still looking to own you.....
Thursday, June 25
Movie Routine
I got a late night text from Doc the other day suggesting some cock. Sure, I've got nothing else going on. He's free to drive himself across down and deliver it to me. Oh wait, he wants me to drive across town to his place because he wants to watch a movie too. Riiight, I'll come on over with one caveat: we watch the entire movie. Otherwise there is no difference between me going there or him coming to me. He took back his offer and suggested we meet up the next day instead when we "can have more time."
I'm on to this come-over-and-watch-a-movie-for-fifteen-minutes-then-sexy-time scam. I run that ploy myself from time to time but if I'm driving 40 minutes round trip because someone won't get off their lazy ass, I expect a feature film. Tip: if you really don't want to sit in the dark for 2 hours before getting it on, I suggest a quicker, similarly innocent activity like a video game. Hell, even a board game! If a sexy man asked me to come over and play Monopoly I'd be there in a flash... although I suppose that'd take at least 2 hours as well. I play til absolute bankruptcy, baby.
I'm on to this come-over-and-watch-a-movie-for-fifteen-minutes-then-sexy-time scam. I run that ploy myself from time to time but if I'm driving 40 minutes round trip because someone won't get off their lazy ass, I expect a feature film. Tip: if you really don't want to sit in the dark for 2 hours before getting it on, I suggest a quicker, similarly innocent activity like a video game. Hell, even a board game! If a sexy man asked me to come over and play Monopoly I'd be there in a flash... although I suppose that'd take at least 2 hours as well. I play til absolute bankruptcy, baby.
Saturday, June 20
Drunken Sketchers and Failed Pickups
I am slightly intoxicated by the wonderful powers of alcohol at the moment. I've drunk blogged before but I never really posted them up. This one I will, I promise. [I have hit the backspace key more times in the past 3 sentences than 1 regular entry. I am too cool for school.]
Okay, so here's the deal. Sketchy men in bars, what the fuck is your angle?! I get that you may be "learning to pick up chicks" but don't talk to me for more than five minutes. Don't stand awkwardly close to me and not say anything. If you've got nothing beyond "Hi, I'm ___" to say, hit the fucking road. Say your greeting and move on. Thanks.
I partially blame myself. I'm a lover of eye-contact. I make it all the time and with everyone. Sadly, I feel some take this as an invitation to grope me. I just like the feeling of the "lock" when a pair of eyes meet. You know what I'm talking about, the brief pause. If you have no idea what I'm saying, go make eye contact with some lovely specimens on the sidewalk this afternoon. Do not be creepy about it. Smile, nod and do not walk over and grab their ass (as tempting as it may be).
Another beef of mine... the "accidental" cock-to-ass-bump followed by a, "Whoops, I'm sorry." I have a feeling men know where their cock is at all times. And I know it was never an accident. If I happen to accept your insincere apology and move away from you, don't do it again. I'm not trying to be coy, I'm repulsed. (If I happen to move in to you, let's get it on, beefcake!)
Another tip, don't loiter and wave, wink or salute from afar. Just don't. It means you're eerily watching me over the top of your beer and that doesn't sit well.
Don't ask to buy me a drink two seconds after saying your name. Offering to get me a soda or water after I lie and say I'm the designated driver is cute, but too pushy.
If you put your arm around me and I obviously back away, don't do it again. Being drunk isn't even a good enough excuse for that.
When you tell me it looks like I'm not having fun, it's because you're still talking to be. Leave.
AAH! I cannot get over the amount of creepers tonight. I get it, you need to approach to learn, just please don't waste my time or buzz. Do your thing, ask for feedback (I'll give it honestly, I promise), peace out and approach the next set. Ta-da!
I'm sure I forgot the funniest bits. I'm sorry.
Okay, so here's the deal. Sketchy men in bars, what the fuck is your angle?! I get that you may be "learning to pick up chicks" but don't talk to me for more than five minutes. Don't stand awkwardly close to me and not say anything. If you've got nothing beyond "Hi, I'm ___" to say, hit the fucking road. Say your greeting and move on. Thanks.
I partially blame myself. I'm a lover of eye-contact. I make it all the time and with everyone. Sadly, I feel some take this as an invitation to grope me. I just like the feeling of the "lock" when a pair of eyes meet. You know what I'm talking about, the brief pause. If you have no idea what I'm saying, go make eye contact with some lovely specimens on the sidewalk this afternoon. Do not be creepy about it. Smile, nod and do not walk over and grab their ass (as tempting as it may be).
Another beef of mine... the "accidental" cock-to-ass-bump followed by a, "Whoops, I'm sorry." I have a feeling men know where their cock is at all times. And I know it was never an accident. If I happen to accept your insincere apology and move away from you, don't do it again. I'm not trying to be coy, I'm repulsed. (If I happen to move in to you, let's get it on, beefcake!)
Another tip, don't loiter and wave, wink or salute from afar. Just don't. It means you're eerily watching me over the top of your beer and that doesn't sit well.
Don't ask to buy me a drink two seconds after saying your name. Offering to get me a soda or water after I lie and say I'm the designated driver is cute, but too pushy.
If you put your arm around me and I obviously back away, don't do it again. Being drunk isn't even a good enough excuse for that.
When you tell me it looks like I'm not having fun, it's because you're still talking to be. Leave.
AAH! I cannot get over the amount of creepers tonight. I get it, you need to approach to learn, just please don't waste my time or buzz. Do your thing, ask for feedback (I'll give it honestly, I promise), peace out and approach the next set. Ta-da!
I'm sure I forgot the funniest bits. I'm sorry.
Tuesday, June 16
Morally Suspect
Mr. Potential Candidate from Ashley (lasting moniker pending) and I are going to try and meet up "for coffee" tonight. Cross your fingers that he's not a creeper/sketchball and is as hot or hotter than his pictures. If he is, I'll fuck him in the Starbucks washroom. I kid... or do I?
I've got two major hurdles to over come as soon as we begin some "real time chatting" which will likely start this eve or the next.
1. Photos
I'm not sure what angle to play here. I don't want to google a complete stranger so I'll just do some major facebook creeping and steal some pics. My dilemma is what level of hot to go for. Hotter than me? Less hot? Below average? Similar? I'm thinking similar or less just to see where he stands. OR I could just hold out on a picture as long as possible and meet him in person with a surprise it's me! OR throw him a photo of me for a surprise it's me! again. OR I could use photos of me without my face although I don't know how long I could keep that up before he gets antsy.
2. Cell phone
He's given me his cell number and wants me to text him which is going hard to dodge. I'll have to say I don't have a cell, although what person in their twenties does not have a cell? I don't think I'd believe it. I can't lie and say I don't have a house phone either because that's just crazy. I just hope he doesn't ask to hear me.
I thought I knew what my end game was but I really don't know anymore. I really need to sort that out. I don't want to be a psycho accusatory bitch but rather kind of playful mocking scamp. It's a pretty elaborate ruse so 'psycho' might still be applicable. I guess I'll start by casually asking if he still uses AM and if he lies, I'll adjust my tactics appropriately. Sigh, if only I had a really cool friend that would play along and actaully meet up with him. That would be fucking awesome.
Wish me luck for Mr. Potential Candidate from Ashley. I really hope that works out so I can shake my Doc cock dependency. Because he's a filthy scumbag. Alllllthough I could get greedy and keep them both on the regular.* Fuck! I'm getting ahead of myself.
*I know that's a dodgy Doc-esque thing to do. But really, we all know he's a jerk. And Mr. PCfA already has a lady he's cheating on so that's no better. I'm not hypocritical, just morally suspect.
***
Fooling Doc with an alternate persona is going to be harder than anticipated. Despite him coming across as a jerk at times, he's pretty witty and if I honestly didn't know him I'd probably chat him up. His ploy is basically the same. He's still an incredibly arrogant "doctor" with no foreseen scheduling issues because "such is the luxury of a prestigious profession..." Once he finally emailed me back he even sent a duplicate of the message to my email account "in case I don't log in to AM frequently." That's courteous and a plus in my books. However in his email he suggested we meet up tonight. That's a little ballsy/desperato considering we've only exchanged 3 messages total and he's yet to see a photo of me.I've got two major hurdles to over come as soon as we begin some "real time chatting" which will likely start this eve or the next.
1. Photos
I'm not sure what angle to play here. I don't want to google a complete stranger so I'll just do some major facebook creeping and steal some pics. My dilemma is what level of hot to go for. Hotter than me? Less hot? Below average? Similar? I'm thinking similar or less just to see where he stands. OR I could just hold out on a picture as long as possible and meet him in person with a surprise it's me! OR throw him a photo of me for a surprise it's me! again. OR I could use photos of me without my face although I don't know how long I could keep that up before he gets antsy.
2. Cell phone
He's given me his cell number and wants me to text him which is going hard to dodge. I'll have to say I don't have a cell, although what person in their twenties does not have a cell? I don't think I'd believe it. I can't lie and say I don't have a house phone either because that's just crazy. I just hope he doesn't ask to hear me.
I thought I knew what my end game was but I really don't know anymore. I really need to sort that out. I don't want to be a psycho accusatory bitch but rather kind of playful mocking scamp. It's a pretty elaborate ruse so 'psycho' might still be applicable. I guess I'll start by casually asking if he still uses AM and if he lies, I'll adjust my tactics appropriately. Sigh, if only I had a really cool friend that would play along and actaully meet up with him. That would be fucking awesome.
***
Wish me luck for Mr. Potential Candidate from Ashley. I really hope that works out so I can shake my Doc cock dependency. Because he's a filthy scumbag. Alllllthough I could get greedy and keep them both on the regular.* Fuck! I'm getting ahead of myself.
*I know that's a dodgy Doc-esque thing to do. But really, we all know he's a jerk. And Mr. PCfA already has a lady he's cheating on so that's no better. I'm not hypocritical, just morally suspect.
Thursday, June 11
Back in Action
I've been a busy bee. I honestly didn't think I'd be up for male contact so soon. But I'm horny as fuck so what's a girl to do.
Doc and I had fun the other night. I'm really out of shape though. My legs must have atrophied after my surgery because I wasn't on my knees long before they gave way and started shaking and not from pleasure. I wasn't completely without face to cock time either. I had to modify my oral technique making it more of a glorified handjob with tongue as I can barely get the entire head in my mouth. I was impressed with myself nonetheless. He was squealing and squirming just like old times. I rode him for a while until my legs couldn't take it any longer. I was breathing and sweating like I had just ran a marathon and I downed a glass of water like I was dying. It was the most physical activity I had done in weeks. So that was the perfect time to switch positions, lie back and just be fucked.
After our last couple of rendezvous I think he might be having some "male issues" which may have something to do with our lack of Kiera/Doc time. I don't want to dwell on it or even think too hard about it. No pun intended. ;)
In other Doc news, I decided to run with playing along to his AM message. My ultimate goal is to try and double book him with both my "identities" on the same night. It's hard to try and pretend to be someone else with a guy you've known for over a year. My humour, vernacular and writing style isn't something you come by every day. It'll be harder once we bounce off the Madison interface to msn but I'll manage.
And speaking of AM, I've been talking with what looks like a legitimate prospect. He's 26, smoking hot, lives close by and can actually carry on a conversation. The only downside I can see right now is that he's attached and I'm not sure if I want to dabble in those waters again.
I cammed it with RG last night too which left me so hot and bothered I continued to play with myself afterwards. It got so amazingly agonizing at one point I involuntarily shrieked. I've never done that unconsciously before. It was both frightening and lovely. Be careful it you put lithium batteries in your vibrator. It amps things up like never before.
Doc and I had fun the other night. I'm really out of shape though. My legs must have atrophied after my surgery because I wasn't on my knees long before they gave way and started shaking and not from pleasure. I wasn't completely without face to cock time either. I had to modify my oral technique making it more of a glorified handjob with tongue as I can barely get the entire head in my mouth. I was impressed with myself nonetheless. He was squealing and squirming just like old times. I rode him for a while until my legs couldn't take it any longer. I was breathing and sweating like I had just ran a marathon and I downed a glass of water like I was dying. It was the most physical activity I had done in weeks. So that was the perfect time to switch positions, lie back and just be fucked.
After our last couple of rendezvous I think he might be having some "male issues" which may have something to do with our lack of Kiera/Doc time. I don't want to dwell on it or even think too hard about it. No pun intended. ;)
In other Doc news, I decided to run with playing along to his AM message. My ultimate goal is to try and double book him with both my "identities" on the same night. It's hard to try and pretend to be someone else with a guy you've known for over a year. My humour, vernacular and writing style isn't something you come by every day. It'll be harder once we bounce off the Madison interface to msn but I'll manage.
And speaking of AM, I've been talking with what looks like a legitimate prospect. He's 26, smoking hot, lives close by and can actually carry on a conversation. The only downside I can see right now is that he's attached and I'm not sure if I want to dabble in those waters again.
I cammed it with RG last night too which left me so hot and bothered I continued to play with myself afterwards. It got so amazingly agonizing at one point I involuntarily shrieked. I've never done that unconsciously before. It was both frightening and lovely. Be careful it you put lithium batteries in your vibrator. It amps things up like never before.
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