Defying the Routine

The Doc and I had another discussion about what we are, why I can’t trust him, blah blah blah and all that jazz. I’m sick of having these because they’re never really resolved. I finally have him on my legitimate MSN so he suggested we take advantage of the “protection of msn” we could talk more freely. It’s pathetic that I can’t speak my mind honestly and with coherence face to face but the veil of the internet helps. I threw down some of my suspicions and other comments and like I said earlier, he quarrels well. Well-spoken jerk! Although I did realize that he was trying to make me feel bad for thinking these things, which is what he did when I said he was lying about his identity way back in the day. Nevertheless, I’m still “cool” with the current situation mostly because of one point. If he didn’t sincerely like me, six months later, would he still be in touch and if he just wanted pussy, would he go through this conversation for the tenth time? I’d like to think my sexual prowess is outstanding enough keep ‘em coming back for more despite how bitchy I can be, but I doubt it. Maybe I only think this way because I’m a girl. Guys, how much bullshit would you take just to get some ass?

At any rate, The Doc and I went out to the movies the next night (it was actually a really good one). We didn’t have time to fool around before the movie since he picked me up an hour late (family problems stirred up by Thanksgiving, so I forgave… yet haven’t forgotten). He was too tired after the movie since it ended late that I, self-proclaimed cockwhore, did not get any action… nothing besides the standard goodbye kiss. What about the standard hello shag, eh? He asked me if it was okay first because he didn’t want me to be offended. What could I say? ‘Stop yawning and take your pants off’? I want a willing participant or it’s not [as] fun. He added that this was the like the third time we never fooled around. “Actually, it’s the first [and only] time.” He then joked that this must mean that he fully enjoys my company and isn’t just using me for sex. “I hardly classify sitting in the dark for two hours as quality time.” I think he then poked me and told me to be quiet. I love being a smartass.

You just can’t throw off an established routine like that. It’s super weird. It’s like going to the circus and coming back without seeing a clown. There might be a do-over tonight, we’ll see.