Virginity, what’s the deal?

It’s been the buzz word floating around lately, so I wanted to throw my two cents in. Let’s start off by saying I doubt I’ve felt the full impact of my decision to lose my virginity yet, or underwent any repercussions as it hasn’t even been a full year since my v-card expired. My first time was with a guy I met in a bar, classic tale eh? No, we didn’t drunkenly have sex right then. We actually exchanged numbers that night and we went on a couple of dates over the next month or so. He was cute, dorky, super tall and had the longest tongue I’ve ever seen. He wasn’t boyfriend material and lived long distance so it was plain old strings-free fun. I don’t remember a whole lot of the specifics of the night in question, just few things.

• We were watching Patch Adams when things started getting heated. Who knew Robin Williams acting like a fool could get you in the mood.
• The KISS poster above the headboard freaked me out. We’re talking full black and white get-ups with the scary faces.
• I actually thought to myself, ‘Will it be over soon? My legs hurt.’
• The amount of sweat and dishevelledness afterwards astounded me.

I didn’t tell him he was getting the first piece of the Kiera-pie and I doubt he figured it out. Does part of me wish I did? Sort of. Not for the expectation that he would make it sweet, with candles and rose petals in front of the fireplace but because I wish he got to have the claim and know it. “Yes! I totally had sex with her first.” It’s very immature of me, I realize. I have a big thing for firsts, like when a new must-see movie is released, I have to see it first. I’ll wait in line for hours. I want to be the first to have a unique bag, I want to be the first one to jump in the pool or the first to listen to a new band, just to say I did. So my only regret was not letting Toronto-boy claim his title as ‘de-virginizer ’

This means I don’t regret not waiting until marriage or a long-term relationship. To me, sex is not something that can only be shared between two people who love each other. I like to think it will enhance it, but it’s not necessary. French toast is always delicious, but sprinkle on some cinnamon and it’s even better! As long as you trust them and feel comfortable, have some fun! Why wait until marriage anyway? I wouldn’t want to be “stuck” with someone with whom I wasn’t sexually compatible with because sexual compromising blows.

The preaching of “saving yourself for marriage” to the teenage masses is futile. I wonder how many kids have sex just to spite the rule or see what all the fuss is about. I believe kids should “save themselves” until they’re mature enough to be responsible and safe about it and they genuinely want to. I know university girls that are not on birth control and regularly rely solely on the pull-out method. Can you believe that? Imagine coming home from a bar and just banging Mr. Mixed-Bag-of-STIs. I define ‘genuinely want to’ as being sober, not pressured and having had time to think about it. I’d preach that to my kid, easy.

Alas, today virginity isn’t worth anything besides bragging rights. We’ve all heard of Natalie Dylan and others selling off their virginity for outrageous prices. Would I have sold mine? It would have been nice if it could be kept discreet (I am a secret whore after all) and I’d get a truckload of cash. But would I be willing to pay to take someone’s? Hell no. I’ve done the virgin thing before and it’s not something I’d like to try again, let alone pay for. Inexperience is not enjoyable. Ok, maybe I'd pay for it in a sci-fi-esque world where the entire planet was infected with various STIs and virgins had to be smuggled and put in to concentration camps. The commercial product for virgins may be on the rise already seeing how more and more people aren’t waiting until marriage. Simple supply and demand, folks. Society’s moral perspective will most likely eventually swing back around to highly conservative views. Who know, maybe being a virgin will become the “in-thing.” But sexuality isn’t about conforming to society, it’s about expressing yourself. If you want to lose it, lose it.

I feel a bit guilty about taking Mono-boy’s virginity only because I believe he regrets it. A few days after I voided his precious v-card I didn’t get the standard “that was fun” discussion. I got a vow of celibacy until he “finds the one.” He was more of a religious fellow and feel I corrupted him, oh well, at least I was first one to!

**This post is a part of a roundtable series hosted by Honey and Lance on virginity with a group of fellow bloggers. Links, here we go!

• Hammer - Blogger Roundtable: Virginity
• Matt Savage - The Dilemmas Of Male Virgins
• Beauty of the Year - Virgin Vendetta
• Effy - Why Wait? An argument against saving yourself.
• Hot Alpha Female - Let’s Talk About Sex…Baby
• Evil Woobie - Why is Virginity a Big Deal Among Filippinos?
• Project Infinity - The More “Touchy” Part of Dating: Sex & Virgins
• The Quest for T - Virginity: A Girl and a Mom’s perspective
• Lisaq - The Value of Virginity
• Kira - Losing Your V-Car: Big Deal of Big Whoop?
• Bobby Rio - Virgins For Sale
• Holly Hoffman - How my mom helped me lose my v-card
• Single Mom Seeking - Why I’m aspiring to be a virgin again
• I Date White - The Brotha Virgin
• Dad’s House - Virginity? It’s So Overrated
• My Secret Hobby - Virginity, what’s the deal?
• The American Virgin - Let’s Talk Virgins
• New World Yankee - You Dragged A Rampaging Virgin Out Of Me!
• The Virgin - Roundtable: Virginity
• Honey - Was Losing My Virginity Worth it?