When I came back from a bar with a girlfriend the other night we crawled in to bed and she wanted to watch a DVD. I was too far-gone to operate electronics so stealthily removing my porn was not an option. She was going to see it anyway so I decided to be open about it by mumbling things like: Take my porn out first. Make sure you put it in the case! Put it in the case! You got to take my porn out first. My porn, my porn, the case, the case... I found it the next morning face up on my desk. That was a good thing as the case is in my 'naughty drawer'. It must have been awkward enough handling my porn so I'm glad she didn't have to dig through my vibes and copious amounts of condoms*.
Speaking of porn and DVDs, I really need to get one of those universal remotes. I recently got a new TV and DVD player instead of a combo set and I'm not used to handling two separate remotes. I had my old one down pat and could jump scenes, pause, mute and fast forward like a pro. Now, I'm one of those squinty-techno-illiterate people that you want to slap for being so inefficient... except I'm naked. And on second thought, you can slap me.
*I bought a bunch one sad, lonely day in hopes that the scent would lure hot men back to my car... fail.
Wednesday, February 25
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5 comments:
Not used to handling two, huh?
Oh, I'd love to help with your remotes. And anything else with batteries.
Find yourself an engineering student and get him to buy you one.
They were a dime a dozen at my first year residence. Not that you should go for a first year, of course.
Buddha - I've only got two hands... and they're occupied.
Riff Dog - Can you send a pack of batteries my way? I had to steal some from my camera.
Tom - A first year Eng kid? No thanks! How about an established engineer... and not one of the sanitation or locomotive variety.
Engineers may have some nice features but I recommend a scientist.
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